It has been revelatory. I am continuing to sift the concepts through my mind. When I apply this nvc way of looking at difficulties, it shifts everything for me – i.e. assessing feelings then underlying needs. I am sure that had I known that I was able to face and handle conflicts before now, things would have been very different.
…. Knowing that I can see tricky interactions as needs unmet changes everything. I feel much less judging and less into analysis of others - I have been confused when I know a lot about psychoanalytic theory when that has seemed absolutely useless information to me in difficult interactions! I now know this is jackal behaviour, analysis and judgement.
If I view things through the lens of mutual unmet needs it changes everything.
… the sudden ending of my last love relationship left me distraught and actually suicidal… people’s reaction was 'You're best shot of him' , including my counsellor. This was actually really unhelpful and I felt very unsupported by others. What would have helped me at the time - and perhaps even now - would have been if someone could have said - 'You must be SO shocked and upset'. It just seemed like no-one understood how much this person and the relationship had meant to me.
With this knowledge I can now do this for myself, and continue to respond to how I actually feel and what I actually need right now.
Thank you very much Clare for a really insightful training and for holding the space with such safety whilst guiding us through the useful information. FM
Made it safe and confidential, personal situations were handled sensitively in a group setting. DH
[The workshop] was very practical and not too theoretical. EN
All comments were handled sensitively. PI
I felt that there was a clear framework which helped me to understand the concepts and how I can apply them to my situation. GR
Clare was clear and concise. GR
I felt understood and supported. SK
I felt comfortable and connected and I felt Clare was very helpful. CC
Clare was very professional and models the NVC approach perfectly! Really enjoyed it and want to learn more. MR
Felt very safe, not at all judged. Easy to get involved, based on a feeling of being able to trust the trainer’s ability and genuine compassion. CH
Have had some revelatory thoughts / realizations about myself – truly enlightening! CB
I found it incredibly helpful. I valued hearing how NVC could be applied to my parenting. Getting feedback during practices was also great. I found Clare’s contribution entirely helpful. RD
Wow! I feel really much more connected to myself and my heart, and have much more understanding of the NVC process. JL
I thought Clare was really great – I liked how you really listened to everyone and didn’t make anyone feel like what they were saying was ‘wrong’ and you had a really gentle and wise way of putting ideas across. KL
I felt much more connected to Clare and to other participants than I’ve ever felt in a flip-chart seminar environment before! Despite often finding it difficult sharing in groups I felt comfortable here. JOD
Very helpful. Even managed to start applying the principles to a tricky family relationship straight away. I also felt it has helped to deepen my parenting and close relationship with my husband. FS
2013 I experienced Clare's empathy asboth accurate and compassionate. I have received several years of counselling in the past, so I was surprised at how helpful I found this. Without any sense of coercion I felt invited and supported to explore surprisingly big issues in my life within this time. (AN, telephone support)
I came away feeling validated, a little more hopeful, relieved, and excited to try out some strategies. And I came away feeling that most of what I had got from the session hadcome from me, instead of prescribed by her. (R, telephone support)
2012 Clare has a thorough and comprehensive knowledge of NVC. More importantly sheembodies the principlesof this approach. She presented the ideas and practice of NVC clearly and with good measure: I found her level of empathy especially supportive. (MG, group participant)
2011 I found Clare very present, providing empathic space for me and others to explore what was most alive for us. I found I connected deeply to what was going on for me, her guesses helped me to get more clarity and insight as to what was underneath the initial presenting issue. I found her pace very supportive. At times she was willing to stay in pauses, silence, allowing me to more deeply self connect. (SA, parents' group session) Clare’s capacity to listen, her depth of connection, and her accurate recall really touched me. I appreciatedClare’s sincerity and authenticity. I felt so safe with her holding and responding to whatever came up.... Satisfied with clarity, honesty, and wisdom/mindful balance of what Clare shared. I really appreciate Clare’s willingness to record the key ingredients of our one to one session for me to support my recall/reflection and my need for learning… this detailed recall highlighted the depth of connection and extraordinary listening that I had experienced. (JR, individual support session)
I was aware of her true presence,her deep listening, her amazing accuracyin saying back to me what she had heard. Nothing jarred. She just looked at me as though she understood. As though all I’d held for years as painful was being held with love and no judgement. I cry even as I write, it was so precious.... What I really appreciated in Clare was her being herself... Her ordinary (extraordinary) lack of clever jargon, and her clarity in naming what I hadn’t named as my needs, but once heard felt to be completely spot on, brought me relief, rest and love. (AW, parents' group session)